Guy on phone from Pixabay
David was scrolling aimlessly through Tinder after class one day, when all the sudden he landed on Bethany. Bethany was hands down the most gorgeous girl he had ever laid eyes on, and he had never swiped right faster. It was an instant match! He realized he should probably look at her profile, but not before sending a causual "Hey what's up? Ur cute haha" to let her know he was interested.
As he scrolled through her bio pictures he started to notice every single one of them appeared to have someone cropped out from them. At first he figured it was just one of her uglier friends but in the corner of one photo he noticed a hand peaking out from around her waist, gripping tightly. Definitely a man hand. He thought for a second about the morality of what he might be doing, but her hotness outweighed his potential for a guilty conscience.
She messaged him back within minutes, and he was extra glad he had decided to put the pic of him playing guitar that not only displays his muscles but also his Manbun in his bio last week. After some light banter, and enough hints from her to let him know she was interested, they set up a "date" for that Saturday night.
When they met up at the bar, David realized Bethany was totally even hotter in person than she was in pictures. They talked for a couple hours, and he realized she was incredibly sketchy when he asked her anything about past experiences and relationships. He thought it seemed like a red flag, but she still seemed like she was in a good spot on the hot/crazy scale so he took her home.
After spending the night together, David woke up to absolutely zero trace of Bethany. The side of his bed she slept on was neatly made, and all of her stuff was gone. David felt a rush of relief, the morning after is always sooo awkward.
He went on for the next few weeks without a second thought about their night together, but one day he decided to see if he could find her on Facebook. "In a Relationship with Uriah since 2012" WHAT. Now David realized why she was being so sketchy. She was in a relationship!! As he stalked Uriah's profile he saw each of Bethany's Tinder pics, but this time without Uriah being cropped out. David felt so disgusted that he had the major urge to clean. He went to clean his bedroom, and as he was cleaning under his bed he found a birth control pack. "Bethany must of left it here, I should text her so she can come get it." David thought, but suddenly the realization of what this meant hit him. He quickly texted her, "Hey how's it going??" hoping his fears would be put to rest.
"Not good. I'm pregnant. And it's yours"
Aaaaaand that was the last time David ever had a Tinder hook up again.
Author's Note:
I based my story off of the story of Bathsheba from the Christian Bible. King David saw Bathsheba bathing on a roof and decided that he wanted to sleep with her. She came over and spent the night and got pregnant. He at some point found out she was married, so the only logical thing for him to do was kill off her husband and marry her instead. That is exactly what he did and it really pissed off God.
I kept my story more from David's point of view, since he was the main one who really did anything. I like making my stories more modern and relatable and I liked the theme I did last week of incorporating social media so I decided to go with that kind of style again. The main part of the story line I did differently was David plotting and killing Bathsheba's husband Uriah. I felt like it didn't really fit in with my story, no 22 year old guy would actually have someone murdered so I decided to leave that part out.
"Bible Women: Bathsheba" from King James Bible Web Source
Hello Sarah! I love this story! You are a great writer. This is incredibly creative and really funny haha :) I have never used Tinder, but I always like to imagine this is how it ends up (except for the pregnancy part hopefully!). It always amazes me how many people use Tinder.. I feel like all it is is an ego boost for most people.
ReplyDeleteSarah, there were many parts of this story that made me actually laugh. Specifically, whenever David sent “Hey what’s up? Ur cute haha” made me laugh because that is just a terrible first line to use on Tinder. Another moment that made me laugh was when you mentioned the hot/crazy scale because the YouTube video on that subject is hilarious. Either Bethany is unhappy in her relationship, or she’s just a terrible person, but I’m curious as to why she is on Tinder if she’s in a serious relationship. I am also wondering about David’s past relationship history if he was so willing to pursue a girl that he basically knew was in a relationship. I feel like the story ended a little too abruptly so what if you go into the part about what happens after he finds out she is pregnant if you choose to revise this story in the future. Also, what if her boyfriend was the one to message David telling him that he’s out to get him or something like that? That could be an interesting turn in the story in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteHey Sarah, what an interesting story. I would have had no idea you were relating it to a bible story until I read your author's note, but now I understand! Such a cool modern twist on an issue that was even an issue back in the biblical times. I think you could even expand the story more to what consequences may come to David in modern times as did to him in the biblical times. I also liked that you emphasized his point of view because it really gave insight into a real life situation that could happen. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI was immediately hooked with the first sentence! I love the story of David and Bathsheba, and reading it being translated in such a modern and fun way was great. "David was scrolling through tender" that's just a great line for me because it threw me off so much. and the writing voice that you use with almost a speaking vernacular adds so much to the modern stylistic approach you've made the story in.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious as to why Bethany would've been so quick to cheat on Uriah. In the original story, Uriah was away in war and David was also the king, so it could be understandable what Bathsheba's thought processes were. But Bethany just seems to be a bit of a jerk. Also, I know you didn't include David having Uriah killed because it wouldn't be appropriate for a young man to do, but I'd still have liked to see how he would've gone about hiding the mistake from Uriah and other's around.
What if he went about trying to befriend Uriah and get him framed for some kind of crime or something to get him sent away so Bethany could be his. It is difficult to translate to this setting.
First of all, I love your blog! It's super cute!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness you're a fantastic writer! Your story pulled me in immediately with your comedic element! Well done! I love the classic tale told in a modern twist. I don't personally have a lot of experience with online dating and I do not have a tinder but, from what I do know, I imagine that this was a pretty accurate depiction of what happens most of the time.
I wonder if you could make the gap between when he found the birth control and when he asked her what was going on a little bit longer, or at least her response to it later, because she wouldn't have known right away. So while I like that idea, I think it could be a bit clearer.
I also think a little bit of background on why Bethany is cheating in the first place would help round out her character a little better as well as Uriah's. I think it's important to know exactly why the cheating is happening in the first place. Maybe he's off in the military or on some secret mission or something and she's feeling lonely.
Love the blog, the story is great! Can't wait to see what's next!
Hi Sarah! I came to comment on this post because I thought the title looked funny, and it didn't disappoint! You did a great job connecting an old Biblical tale to some modern themes and gave it a nice twist. I wanted to know a little more about Bethany — why is she cheating? Is she unhappy? What's wrong with Uriah? Overall, the story was great! Your writing has a really clear, humorous tone. Nice job!
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