The first article I read is 14 Signs Your Perfectionism Has Gotten Out Of Control. I really can relate to a lot of the aspects of this article, as I too am so driven by success that the thought of failure is often very limiting to me. I have a hard time starting something I know will be very challenging because I get afraid of failing. This was kind of an eye opening article to me because now I know I need to change my mindset still into something that is less perfectionist and more healthy for me. I have improved greatly from where I was in the past but I still have some work to do on mellowing out a little more.
The second article I looked at is 6 Bad Mental Habits That Sabotage Your Success. Again, I related to almost everything in this article. It is interesting for me to read these types of articles because I know there is a huge impact on your success with just what mindset you choose to have. I love reading things that I feel "help optimize myself" (some of my perfectionist coming out I think). It is hard to see all my habits listed so negatively but it is important for me to realize that the way I think isn't always what is healthy for me.
I take reading these types of articles as my own type of feedback. I can identify traits in myself in the articles and can see that they are good/bad and what I should or shouldn't try to work on. I think feedback is very important, and to me feedback is vital on my never ending quest of self improvement. Sometimes it can be hard to take negative feedback lightly but if there is something negative about you that someone feels the need to honestly address, I believe it is important to listen and take what they say to heart. Most people don't just like to criticize, and most people truly do have your best interest at heart. So if they bring up a concern with you I tend to think it is valid and worth listening to without becoming defensive, no matter how hard that can be.
The most negative and unhelpful feedback I have ever gotten was my freshman year of high school. Due to my dad's job, I had been out of the country for six months. The first week I got back, my two "best friends" at the time decided to give me a lesson on "how I could improve myself so that they would like me more". This included a 3 page physical list they had compiled together full of bullet points of everything I could improve, including examples of my sins they had kept track of. Afterwards, they asked me if I would like to "keep the list for reference". I still don't know if this was truly meant as "constructive criticism" like they claimed or if it truly was a spiteful attack but it was extremely well thought out and they had clearly spent a lot of time rehearsing it together. Naturally, I ended my friendship with them on the spot, but it took me my full high school career to truly recover from some of the things they said.
I like honest feedback, if there truly is something wrong I want to know. I want to be the best I can be, so obviously that means feedback and constant improvement. To me, the most helpful types of feedback include not specifically "you are wrong and here's why" but more like "this could have been done better, maybe try this instead?" I like to be given suggestions on ways I can improve, not just why I am wrong.
Negative feedback can still be given in a kind and thoughtful manner, and that almost will never be via bullet pointed lists. There are nice and respectful ways to say even the "harshest" realities while still getting your point across!
Worried Man from Flickr
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